Children who are invested in their own development at an early age will enjoy many benefits in the future. It can be difficult to know how to teach kids self-improvement. These strategies will help you raise confident kids who want to be the best versions of themselves.
Balance Self-Acceptance and Self-Improvement
You should teach your kids that they can accept themselves as they are and still strive to improve. You don’t wish for them to believe that they cannot be happy until they reach their goals, such as losing 10 pounds or making the all-star team.
Assist Your Child in Recognizing Their Advantages
Ask them to tell you what they enjoy about themselves. Be sure to ask them what they like about themselves. Although it is healthy for children to believe they are pretty, their self-esteem should go beyond looks.
Determine the Things They Would Like to Change
Identify concrete steps that they can take to improve their skills.
You may need to help develop your child’s self-awareness. If they insist that they are the smartest child on the planet, gently remind your child that there is always room for improvement. If they claim to be a bad singer, you can ask them what they could do to improve (like taking voice classes). Ask if they are serious about improving or not.
Continue Speaking
Talk about your weaknesses with others. Prioritize the areas you’d like to improve on, but also accept that you won’t be able to excel at everything.
Praise Your Child for Things He or She Can Control
It’s not helpful to praise your child for something that is out of their control.
Praise them instead for their choices by saying, “Good job brushing your tooth right after breakfast.” You will have such shiny, clean teeth! Or, I appreciate that you combed your hair before I reminded you.
Avoid focusing on the result. You can make your child think that their score is more important than anything else if you tell them, “I am so proud of your 100 on the spelling test.” This can cause problems in the future (for instance, your child might think that cheating is okay as long as they get a high score).
It’s better to praise his character and focus on the effort he has made. For example, you can say, “It seems like all your studying paid off.” You did a great job in studying for your test.
Together, define your goals
Children should always strive to achieve new goals. Goals could be anything, from “I’d like to learn to swim” to “I would like to make two new school friends.”
Help your child set healthy, challenging goals that they can achieve. Your child may set the bar too high and fail if they do. If their goals are set too low, they will not improve themselves.
It may be necessary to provide some guidance to help them set realistic goals. Help them set short-term goals if they want to achieve a long-term objective, such as saving money for a car. One goal might be to “save $100 per month” or to “put half of the money I earn from babysitting into a savings fund every week.”
Determine how to help your child keep track of his or her goals. A chart, calendar, or app that allows them to track their progress can help them remain motivated.
Recap of the Events
The way your child processes the experience will determine how much they can learn. You can turn any experience, whether it’s a child’s performance at school or interacting with a friend in the playground, into a life lesson by talking to them about it.
Talk about the game with them if they scored four points. Ask them to tell you what they liked and what they need to work on. It is important to acknowledge their successes while also identifying areas where they can improve.
Do not limit these conversations to sports or academics. Debrief after social events, too. You can ask your child, “What was the best thing you did at the party today?” For example, they might answer, “I hugged the birthday girl.” Next, you might ask, “Is anything you could improve on next time?” Perhaps, you could suggest, “I should have sat down with the kid eating the cake by himself.”
Talk to your child and look for teachable moments. You may need to tell them where they can improve. Other times, your child may identify what they would like to do better.
Promote the solution of problems
It’s tempting to solve your child’s problems. Micromanaging your child’s activities and saving them at the earliest signs of difficulty is a disservice.
Ask them “What can you do about it?” If they complain that their science homework is difficult or are worried that they won’t be able to finish their chores on time, then ask, “What else can you do about it?”
Show them they can choose how to respond to a problem. Discuss the different ways you can solve a problem. Problem-solving skills empower children to take on issues. Each problem that your child faces is an opportunity to grow.
Instruct constructive self-talk
Children should learn to talk to themselves with empathy. A child who labels themselves as stupid will not work to improve themselves.
Help your child realize that what they say is not necessarily true. You can ask them, “What is another way of looking at this situation?” They might remember that they are capable of improving with practice.
It’s important to refrain from saying things that you would like them to believe. You can’t change someone’s mind if you tell them “Oh honey, one day you’ll become a great trumpeter.”
Tutor Your child
You will need to teach your child humility at times and brush up on their manners at other times. You can coach your child on every mistake or issue they face.
You can coach someone by saying anything from “Please try again” to “I noticed you are having difficulty getting ready for class on time.” What can you do to improve that situation?
Avoid the temptation to save your child from mistakes or to prevent them from making them. Turn frustrating experiences and failures into learning opportunities.
Motivate Employees with Incentives
Sometimes your child will not be motivated to make a change. If your child is not motivated to change, some extra incentives could be the answer.
Make their privileges dependent on their homework or chores. After they’ve finished their homework, let them play video games. Play a game of board together with your family after they finish their chores.
It’s not necessary to reward your child for every little thing they do. You can decrease the frequency with which you reward your child once they have developed better habits.
Give Your Kids More Power
It’s not about vanity if you want to improve yourself. Your child can instead learn how to improve themselves to make a positive impact on the world.
Talk to your child about the possibilities of using their science skills to help others or the environment.
Show your child how they can change someone’s day every single day by being generous, kind, and helpful. Work together with her to do community service or perform kindness. Empower them to do something positive, whether they are making cards to send to nursing homes or participating in charity fundraisers.
From Verywell, A Word
You’ll need to give your child plenty of advice along the way if you want to stay involved in their quest for improvement. Be sure that your child’s goal is healthy. Step in if your child starts a new diet or exercise regime. If your child is studying so hard that they are not getting enough rest, you can intervene to help them realize that this habit is more harmful than beneficial.
You can also be a role model for your children. You can inspire your child by describing how you are actively working to improve yourself.